Alice, I hope none of my nephews are gay...am i wrong?

Dearest Alice,

As I sit here on my bathroom floor, listening to "Seether", waiting for your sister Victoria to pick me up, I'm troubled by the idea that one day, I will hear the words "Uncle Teddy... I'm gay"

I wouldn't wish this lifestyle on my worst enemy, let alone a member of my wolfpack, does that make me a bad person?

It's not so much the lifestyle itself, it's the misery...

it's the heartache...

it's the eternal unhappiness, that every queer boy feels for the majority of their adult life, it's only a lucky few who escapes this.

I'd be heartbroken if one of my wolfpack was sentenced to this inevitability.

Alice, look at their choices, stoned Crystal Meth queen, swishy GURRRLfriend, DL Homeboy, or even worse for one of them to end up like me. a 28 year old psuedo celebrity who cries on his bathroom floor because he may or may not have been broken up with via Facebook.

I've taught them how to speak, how to read, how to dress, how to pass algebra...but how do I teach them, to run as fast as they can from something I've made look so bloody glamorous, and that they won't see coming, until it's too late?

well well well, there's the dizziness, i've become all too familiar with, that can only mean your sister has arrived...

Until Next Time Alice,

Teddy