Alice, I'm officially done with Gay Porn.

Dear Alice,

Have you heard? Of Course you have, you're the all knowing, all seeing Alice. I think a better question is, can you believe it?

Jason Adonis has left gay porn!!!! As my goddaughter would say OMG! As my nephew would say WTF?! (and i pray that neither my niece nor nephew is watching gay porn, but i digress)

Jason Adonis, star of Falcon Studios has decided to hang up his hat, although oddly that's the one article of clothing, he's NEVER worn. So i suppose a better analogy would be he's hanging up his lube. Jason is a not-so-rare breed of performers who is straight, but does gay porn. This phenomenon is known as gay-for-pay.

Why would a straight man pretend to be gay...because 3x anything is good shit!

Straight porn actors can make $1,000 a scene where as gay porn actors can make $3,000.

Jason, has a wife and child at home, but yet has made a killing in such films as Taking FLight and The Farmer's Son.

In my opinion, There is a gay porn trifecta. 1)Dean Monroe, the best bottom in the business, who's never shied away from a double anal scene. (yes, you read that correctly. It's like watching "the Exorcist" directors cut) 2)Zeb Atlas, the sexiest Top in the business. Imagine 250 pounds of solid muscle tossing you around like a shark attack. and of course 3)Jason Adonis, who recently entered the murky waters of being Versatile (giving and receiving during anal sex).

Personally i don't believe in versatility. You should be a top or bottom, and never the twain shall meet, but then again, no one would be pay a chicken dinner at Popeyes' to see me naked so I digress)

I think a good top should have a great ass, which Jason does (J-Lo wishes she had jason's basketball butt) because while he's pounding away, we should have something to look at. However for purely financial reason's Jason, in a one time only stunt, decided to bottom, and that was only after his fee was DOUBLED!!

And now the trifecta is broken?!!! no more Jason? Alice what will i do? Zeb can't be in EVERY movie, and Dean can only take but so much. (granted he has a jaw like an anaconda, but i digress)

Alice, I am officially banning gay porn in my home, until Jason returns to his throne. Would i watch All My Children if Susan Lucci left? Would anyone watch Jeopardy if Alex Trebeck departed? If Kathy Griffin left the D-List, would we even be bothered?...The answer? HELL NO!!!

So Are you with me Alice? Are you with me...Alice? Dahling?...Alice are you listening?

for god sake's Alice turn that damn Best of Jason Adonis dvd off, have you heard a bloody word I've said?!!!

Fine, I'll leave you be.

Have a good night,

Sincerely,

Teddy DeRothchild (that's my porn star name)

Alice, you look brilliant! I hardly recognize the new you

Dear Alice,
On this, the eve of Madonna's birthday, all i want to talk about is reinvention.
We all know that Madonna is the queen of reinvention, but what we all might not know is one tiny change can make a LASTING impression.
A change of hair color, a new clique to hang out with, losing an accent...(ahem)
When a battered wife leaves her husband and dates a younger man...she has reinvented her image.
When a scrawny teenager enters the gym and pumps iron and emerges an Abercrombie model...he has reinvented his image.
When the ugly duckling ditches her glasses for contact lenses and drops 50 pounds...she has now become the beautiful swan. Alice dahling, she has reinvented!!!
Granted those are all physical, and those are the easiest to change. But an aesthetic reinvention, must be accompanied by a mental reinvention.

You can't change the label and keep the same old product. Think a bit differently, act a bit differently. Process things a bit differently. You'd be surprised at how the world looks standing from another angle.

and if it doesn't work out, you can always go back to your old self, but you owe it to yourself to experience new things, new people, new ideas.

Look at Madonna, she's changed more times than a chameleon. Do you remember the Asian years, complete with Red leather Kimono? Or take Queen Latifah, eventually she went from Jersey round-the-way girl, to Jazz crooner and Oscar nominee.

and its not just celebrities, December 31, 2002 an average bloke went to sleep, and on January 1, 2003, The Horsemen incarnate awakened. Suits, ties, watches, shoes, parties...dahling, I was reinvented.

So, go ahead, take that yoga class, get those hair extensions, redecorate that living room, date that younger man, move to that new town, wear that black mini skirt...

you owe it to herself, and I've got your back, and so does Madonna.

Reinvention Tea...now that tastes, oh so good.

Until Next time Alice,
Love,

Teddy