Alice, is there a vaccine for Jungle Fever?

Dear Alice,

What the hell is the big deal with race?!

Race plays more factors in dating and relationships than money/std status/ and credit score combined!

There are people that MIGHT date someone who has herpes, but wouldn't even think twice to say NO, if they were the wrong race! Isn't that outrageous?!

Internet sites (one in particular) have "No white dudes" and "Black and Latinos only" littered on their profiles, it makes me wonder if America puts WAY too much emphasis on something that each of us has no control over.

Ok, now Alice it's no secret the Special Guest Star is a Snow Queen. Which means I like my white boys (and girls when the situation presents itself) But I am equally attracted to my latino brethren, which isn't saying much, because it seems EVERYBODY loves a good latin explosion. I swear Puerto Ricans and Cubans are like white dress shirts...THEY GO WITH EVERYTHING!!!

But I digress.

Taking a look at my track record 2 of my 3 boyfriends were white...and I mean WHITE! As mum once said to me "you like them little white boys don't you?" yes mum i do, and the whiter and skinnier the better. (and any raven haired white girl that SLIGHTLY resembles Catherine Zeta Jones, gets a free pass to Space Mountain)

My last girlfriend was this wierd German Puerto Rican hybrid, and my first boyfriend was full fledge PR. (He had the broken english and foreskin to prove it...)

But for the life of me i've only had that INSANE attraction for ONE black man...

and I've only ever had sex with ONE black man...

and as for boyfriends Marco was black, but can i really call him my boyfriend? That relationship lasted as long as a large Slurpee at 7-11

Now, i know i'm not alone here, there are plenty of other people of color who predominantly date Caucasians...right?

I certainly know there are plenty of white boys who ONLY want black men. and The Kardashian girls seem to be soaking up all the black men they can find...

What's with all the brotha lovahs?!

Granted this infatuation with race seems to be an american phenomenon. European boys are much more flexible with matters of race. American white boys barely even notice me...but you put me in a room with a European boy, and you might as well give us cab fare because we're on our way to my house, and it ain't to play XBOX! (Thank you Simon, keep spinning those records in France! Thank you Henrik, you keep those waters of Denmark safe, and by the way, thanks for the awesome sex)

I don't get it, what's attraction?

Is it visual?... Latin men ARE very sexy.

Is it sensual? ...I've been told that black people taste different than others.

is it chemical? ...White people DO have a particular scent.

I'm stumped...and yet even more intrigued.

Which brings me to the question...what kind of men do you like Alice?

Alice, how closely do you follow "The Code"?

Dearest Alice,

I've had a devil of a weekend. Granted I may have acted hastily, however my instincts are rarely far off. It dawned on my that perhaps two people who i've grown very close to may have developed a fancy for each other.

Normally i would be ecstatic...however this friday, it took all i had to grab my Ralph Lauren over coat and walk away.

You see Alice, I have history with one, and i began, what i thought may have been, a future with the other, so you can imagine my disdain, to find them giggling, and getting to know each other at my expense.

Obviously neither one respected "the code". What code you may ask? Well it's the unwritten code that says you don't go after someone that your friend WAS/IS/or WANTS to be involved with.

That means your friends exes are off limits. Their CURRENT boyfriend or girlfriend is off limits and someone they're looking to date is off limits. You don't go after them and if they come after you, you gracefully decline.

Very simply "Bros over hoes!"

Why people don't understand this is beyond me...

Now Alice, you know me, I was young once, I've made mistakes, and I'm not perfect, even i have been tempted to disobey the code.

It was during my Horsemen days, and i began to develop feelings for my fellow clique members boyfriend...I didn't mean to like him, but i did, and the scary part was I think he encouraged me to like him. I can remember feeling like such a piece of garbage. a) i never wanted to hurt my fellow Horsemen and b) i would never want anyone to do it to me. However, and this is a big however...NOTHING EVER HAPPENED! I suffered in silence, and made no overtures toward him. why? bros over hoes!!

continuing with tales of the Horsemen i can remember a day in 2005 when i had a crush on a certain man, and a horsemen who shall remain nameles :::COUGH Ian COUGH::::: went out of his way to go after him. It wasn't enough that Ian, i mean :::cough Ian cough::::: was sleeping with half of new york. He had to go after THIS guy simply because I wanted him. Incidentally that was the last time, I marched to a location with the full intent to whip someone's ass.

Betrayal infuriates me, Alice. It infuriates me.

Until We Chat Again,

Teddy

Alice, I think i'm Sick of being a "Special Guest Star"

Dearest Alice,

My entire life, i've wanted to "go where everybody knows my name". Parties, Clubs, Off-Broadway, TV, Internet, Films. Cheerleading. Martial Arts, Sign Language. I've done so much just to be "out there". But I never stay...

I come, I do my thing be it good or bad, and then i leave. It's how i got the nickname "Special Guest Star" in the first place. But As i get older, Alice...I think i'm sick of being The Guest Star.

I want to settle down and be a PERMANENT Cast Member.

Just today, i had to say good bye to some people i cared very deeply about, because my job has taken me elsewhere. It reminded me of a time not so long ago when i had to say good bye to a co-star I Loved...which reminded me of having to say good bye to a cheating boyfriend who I loved. Which reminded me of having to say good bye to a sport I loved.

Alice, as a person with abandonment issues i sure seem to be saying a hell of a lot of farewells.

All I'm saying is, it would be a pleasant change of pace to say "Hello Dahling" as opposed to good bye.

Thanks For listening Alice

Love Always,

The (lonely) Special Guest Star.