Dear Alice,
I was talking with my good friend Jacqueline, and she said something that bothered me. She said, she'd be proud to be my fag hag. Ever since i was a teenager, i've hated the term, "Fag Hag". 1) because i hate the term "Fag" and 2) because i LOVE women. Sometimes a bit too much, because i still sleep with them. I love how women act, i love how they speak, how they dress, how they seduce, how they fight. I not only LOVE women, i CELEBRATE them. Why would i call something i love, a hag. Such a derogatory term.
a hag, is a disgusting, ugly, wretched, jealous, evil hearted women. I would never want a friend who is a hag. Now don't get me wrong, there are women who ARE Fag Hags. She's usually overweight or has low self esteem, she CLINGS to gay men, because she can't function with straight men. She's at EVERY gay bar, her facebook is filled with pics of her "gurrrlfriendz". She wouldn't know a straight man in their phonebook, but knows EVERY person her gay friends are dating.
A fag hag usually has a gay man who is their roommate or best friend. They themself have NO boyfriend, and don't really look for one, because they live OFF their gay friend. Usually deep down they have feelings for their gay, and pray one day he will turn around and fall madly in love with her. A perfect example is someone i knew long ago, Julia Baltz.
On the outside she appeared sweet, but as we crossed paths repeatedly it became clear, she and i were both vying for the affections of an equally pathetic boy, who didn't really want either one of us. She would sit home every night, wrapped in a gay pride blanket, dreaming of being a famous actress one day. she was a virgin, had no boyfriend, was overweight, and my boyfriend, was her only source of male companionship. So of course when sexy ol' me comes in she and i butted heads. I once remember hugging my pathetic ex boyfriend and looking over his shoulder only to see Julia Baltz rolling her eyes. Really?! On another occasion my ex and i were walking to his bedroom, and she begged us not to go, because she "had a bad day and couldn't bare us going to the room, because she'd be alone" REALLY?! when we broke up she actually blogged about how happy she was to see my toothbrush in the garbage...my guess is she was scrounging for food.
Now THAT's a fag hag. however i've been lucky enough to surround myself with stylish, supportive, friendly, fun women, who just happen to have a gay friend. Like Jacqueline Denee. I remember first meeting her. Her sassy smile, and quirky jokes endeared me. she didn't try to be my hag, she didnt call me "girl!" and snap her fingers. I had a friend Stephanie, who was the definition of style. she never tried to be my girlfriend. she was my Girl...friend. Joy Murchison, has been my friend for years, and never once exhibited hag behavior. Cathy Perez whom i must have dragged to EVERY gay event and bar, was always a friend to this fag, but never a hag. Her advice was always after her support, even when my relationship was doomed from the start. She enjoys a bare chested bartender as much as the next gay men, but she gave her friendship never her existence.
So I hope I NEVER have a fag hag, because I'm too happy with my girl friends.
Hugs and Kisses,
Teddy
The Queen of Colorado.
