Black by injection or AFFection?

Alice, there is a phenomenon I’m worried about. The other day while I was enjoying my 2 week holiday in New York, I overheard 3 gay men talking on the subway. Two of them black and one of them white. The discussion concerned “hair” . The two black men were venting about how coarse their hair was, the specific wording they used was “my hair is so nappy!” the white guy piped in “oh, I know girl, my man is black.
First off we’re going to ignore the ridiculous practice of gay men referring to each other as girl which, by itself, irks my nerves. My problem was neither of his friends checked him. They let the statement slide with no action, I wanted to say “you know, what? Your hair is blonde and gelled to high heaven what do you know about nappy hair?”

This got me to thinking. How often do people of one race identify with a race they just happen to be dating.
We’ve heard the term “oreo” right? A black man who’s “white on the inside”. Think Bryant Gumble or Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and we’ve also heard the term ‘whigger” which is a white person who emulates all things urban and hip hop. But outside of a sitcom, why are we letting this subtle form of racism go so far. Personally I think its dangerous to let people make statements like that. There is a political group “Blacks for Obama” I wonder how liberal the world would be if a group called “whites for Romeny” popped up .

Why let one form of racism acceptable but not another? I once dated Matthew Barrett (pseudo internet host of ADTV) a skinny white boy from Indiana who loved all things black. He listened to R&B music, he idolized Mariah Carey, he lived in Harlem and He only dated black men, (and cheated with them whenever he thought he could get away with it) I thought it was odd but I never commented on it until I heard him talking about his shit job as a waiter, and he got a rude customer. His eye roll was accompanied by “that’s why I hate white people”. I just looked at him like he had three heads. A white boy, who hates white people and no one found that strange?

Why do some people think that dating another race somehow successfully makes them LESS their own race. I work with deaf people, I work for deaf people, I speak fluent sign language and my boyfriend is deaf, but guess what, I WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE DEAF…EVER. I can surround myself with the hearing impaired but I will never know what it is. I find it strange when I meet white men who think because they date black people that they are now ” hip” “down” or “cool”. Really? Do people believe “black by injection” is a real thing? How many young white people thought they were so cool when they voted for Barack Obama the nation’s first black president. If that’s the only reason you voted for him, you should be ashamed of yourself.

My ex boyfriend Tyler Kroetsch was a notorious chocolate lover. So much so that after I broke up with him, he decided to date the exact opposite of me. A short skinny white boy, yeah that relationship lasted about as long as an ice cream cone. But Tyler too, loved hip hop music, loved black slang, had nothing but black friends in Chicago and most of his boyfriends were biracial. Now does that mean Tyler Kroetsch is a racist? Well I wouldn’t call him such a big word, because he’d have such difficulty spelling it. But when I walk into a room a see a chubby white boy referring to himself as “Tyeesha Da Baddest Bitch” it worries me!
I was so amused by Tyler Kroetsch’ “inner homegirl” that I would take him to the gay hip hop club “Secret” and I’d let him dance to rap and reggae, and just as I suspected it became very uncomfortable for him when those latino boys saw his arms around the tallest, and arguably the sexiest, black man in the room.

I guess my point Alice is, date who you want but BE who you ARE.

Until Next time.

Teddy.